Letting Your Mental Illness Win

 

When we see mental health being discussed in the media, a lot of the time it is from the perspective of a success story. Someone who has beaten their illness and is on their way to recovery, an inspiration to us all. But what about those of us who are still in the weeds? Still struggling to keep it together every day? I think it’s important to see those stories too.

When I woke up this morning I felt numb. After a night of tossing and turning, over thinking and overanalysing I got out of bed even more tired than when I got in. It was a struggle to even brush my teeth with my head pounding and my muscles aching. A few splashes of water on my face and I felt a little better, hopeful even, that maybe the rest of the day will be better.

This is not an unusual occurrence for me, having had depression previously and anxiety my whole life I know even before it happens when I’m going to have “one of those days” as my mum likes to call them. Those days where it takes everything to get out of bed, where going outside is an achievement and the negative voice in my head gets a little louder.

Luckily for me these kinds of days have gotten fewer and further in between but just a few months ago they were my every day.

Stress is a big trigger and it doesn’t help that I’m an over sensitive worrier who stresses about the smallest of things. Medication has helped me slightly, along with a change in lifestyle and acupuncture but I still have days like today where I feel defeated by my mental health.

And it’s okay to have days like that, to let your mental illness win every once in awhile so it can lose the rest of the time.

It can be exhausting trying to be a role model, a mental health success when really mental health doesn’t have a miracle cure. It isn’t like a bad cold and shouldn’t be treated as such, you can’t just take some medicine and it’ll all be fine, because it will always be there. For me it’s accepting this that has made my version of recovery a lot easier.

Having bad days, like today, is necessary to keep that motivation which pushes me to stay on top of my health. Be it through changing my lifestyle, incorporating positive changes or trying new alternative medicines. Not looking for that miracle cure, but something that will make my anxiety easier to live with long term.

Listening to other people’s stories can be so inspirational and I applaud anyone who has made steps in their life to become a better person. But it’s not always a realistic path that everyone can take. And while I continue to try and quieten my anxiety once more, I take pride in those little wins that just a short while ago seemed impossible.

Today has been one of those days. But I still brushed my teeth this morning, I spoke to my friends and I went outside.

And that to me is progress.

Advertisements

11 thoughts on “Letting Your Mental Illness Win

  1. Thank you for posting. I have my success story on my blog but it is hard for people to grasp that you are never wholly cured from depression, it just gets easier with lifestyle changes, thought process changes, and medication. Kudos to you for realizing that you don’t need to feel ashamed if you lose the battle. Just means you should work hard to make tomorrow better. My depression was so debilitating for so long. I had no friends, never went to classes, missed events, my boyfriend was bored. It is a real struggle. People don’t necessarily understand that it isn’t situational. But keep your head up!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so so much for sharing with me! It was definitely a defining moment for me realising that this is a long term battle and by accepting that I really started to get better and take care of myself. Talking about it more especially on my blog has opened me up to many new people with their own experiences and it’s so inspiring. I’ll definitely swing by and take a look at your story!

      Thanks again for sharing lovely, I really appreciate your honesty xo

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Omg I could sooooo relate to everything you mentioned!!!!! Thank you sooo much! I too have been fristrated at the success stories when what I needed during my lows were stories of people who felt like me and understood how hard those baby steps or small but huuuge accomplishments are! So I have also started sharing with honest truth and ‘rawness’ hahah because its what I needed from others at those times! Thank youuu!:) and keep ‘progressing’. All the very best to you from someone who fully understands!;) xx

    Like

    1. Thank you so much for sharing lovely! Definitely, I think it’s important to see stories at every stage of the journey not just the end. Sharing my own story has helped me accept it so much so I hope it helps you also! Xo

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks lovely! I’m always extra nervous posting these types of things but every time I do I feel so good about it and it’s something I think we should all talk about more. Appreciate you taking the time to read lovely xo

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you for sharing this post! It really meant a lot reading this during a time when I haven’t been feeling myself. The key for me is, like you said, incorporating the positive things into my life. It has made is easier to take control of my bad moments instead of letting the bad moments control me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for commenting! You’re so right, I always say to myself you can’t have the good without the bad and remembering that everything is temporary helps get me through the really bad days. Appreciate you taking the time to read this and sharing! Xo

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I completely relate to this. When I do have those ‘win’ days, it’s what I try to think about on the days when I really think everyone hates me and I can’t do anything right. It will always be a battle, but it’s good to feel like you’re not alone.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your comment! I think it’s so important that we talk about these things openly and without feeling ashamed so we can find others out there who relate. It’s all about finding a balance, accepting the bad days as necessary and appreciating the good days when they come. Xo

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s